Time...

Greetings fellow readers.....

Its been a while since I wrote my last post, just realise it was on February.... and now its almost at the end of the year..... wow.... this year went by so fast.....

If you are wondering where I was all this time..... well.. I would say.... this year has been the toughest year by far... stressful indeed, I would say.... too much straying in life than thought.....

but again its almost the end of the year.. gotta pull myself together to enjoy Christmas holiday.. :)

Looking back at my stressful months and people around me.... it gets me thinking.. What are the cause of our stressful life? too much thinking and not enough doing..... or too much doing but not thinking it through... mmm.. does that even make sense?

So I have been reading a few article on how to relieve from depression and how to have a better/cheerful life. People suggest "to find out the cause and then combat it. Once you're on the way out the depression, having solved the cause and learned from it" --anonymous. OR Talking to the professional and sharing your story to a total stranger, would be one of the many suggestions. But are these suggestions helping us at all?

First of all, It might be good to talk about it to someone, to get them ..all ..out of your chest, but sharing it with a total stranger and having to pay for their expensive hourly service and medication..... I think I'll get more depressed. Plus you can only spend hours trying to reveal your personality, but really it takes years to know yourselves alone....so would this be helpful?

second of all... so.. now we know what's causing it.... we know its all happening, just inside our head, messing with our brain.. just decide to forget about it and move on.. but.. seriously.. it is not as easy as flicking the switch........ I tried many time to wake up in the morning with a smile... but all I get is a smile on my morning face and scattered brain.. nope not working......

FYI I took this test:

www.depressedtest.com/

its quite accurate, but unfortunately they don't really tell what to do next, once we know what type of depression we have, what should we do?

I have always been jealous with happy and positive people.. I want to be like them.. but I was just not raised that way.. how sad, now that I realised ...

so... what should we do to pursuit happiness.. we all know what to do.. but the real tough question is..... How long will it take to get a normal people's brain?

How to switch our brain in just a second, How do we change our perspective of life that has been build in us for years...... How How and How.......................... i want to go inside their mind and see whats in there..knock knock..

well clock is ticking... by the time we look back... we are not young anymore.. so why worry now, "live your life to the fullest", said my best-est friend. I secretly kept that in mind every time I am at my lowest point, but just remembering a line. does that help??

Having the same problem.... don't worry.. we got friends on the same boat..

Tough life, but when I look several months back, I might not doing much but I certainly learn a lot about life, and yet about to find out about my purpose of life.... Is my dream, the dream that I always wanted??? (that could be on my future post)

I really need a job and keep my life busy and my mind occupied.. thats the only way to go......

Is this what they called 'female's quarterlife crisis' ?

Part 1: at the airport

Going back to Jakarta for a week feels like entering a big brain-wash
machine. It feels like the society changes the way you see life/value
of life. No matter who you talk to, people from different ages,diff social status,same topic always
comes up. Stressing out not having a marriage plans yet in your mid
20's,while all your friends do or even are. Being pressure from
parents and friends, kept asking when we would be next. Hearing
stories from newlyweds couples about life after marriage. How hard it
is being totally independent from their parents? Disappointment in their marriage and trying to advice others not to fall into their trap? ..What do we really
try to find in life?Happiness?Satisfaction?? Great lifestyle?Career?
Luxury? Or just a great relationship with someone you think you can share your life with?

Is being realistic,considered as materialistic?

As a poorly developed country, such as Indonesia, (with lots and lots of very very rich people in it) different social status and lifestyles are so obvious. Majority of people life in a
small rusty shack beside dirty and smelly river, while people with
highest social status live in a huge mansion with more than 10 maids
and lots of drivers. While people in a mid range are living their life, trying to survive,
so they'll keep going up and not down.

If we looked back from previous generations to now generations,we can
see a big gap of lifestyle. All kids now days have their own
mobile phone,wearing branded bags to school,acting like a grown up,
eating in a fancy restaurant every day, spending without having to
earn anything, being spoilt. Imagine what the future will look like??
It seems so hard to achieve happiness without the powerful
green paper aka money, in that country or anywhere (maybe), but seriously, this is much more extreme here....

who wants to life in a place like this:
Jakarta - slum area
(Image taken from : http://endangerededen.wordpress.com/2009/10/13/slum-tours-real-tourism-or-real-exploitation/)

But what would you do if you have a choice not to live there, but overseas. To work
your carreer up, being independent and live your life as you want
it, not trying to please everyone around you but yourself. Follow your dream and achieve what you always wanted to achieve?? but on the other hand, might not be able get married and being settled too soon.

This got me thinking a lot, but yet not find any answers. Do you think
marrying someone just for a monetary security is the best thing to do?
or keep believing in yourself that you can achieve your own success and
spend your life with someone that you can share everything with and
really care about?

It seems like a really easy choice, but having everyone pressuring
you, keep haunting you with fear, judging what you do and did wrong,
makes it so hard to choose and believe in yourselves (what if we fail?).
Asking everyone what to do?? doesn't help either, "be a housewife, problem solve", that easy. Even being a housewife, its more complicated that finding a right job....it also need a lot of time and effort. Can we achieve 2 totally different dreams at the same time? Its so hard to be a minority in a majority, loosing confidence and giving up would seem like the best thing to do.

But really...?? Is being materialistic, is the answer of everything in reality?

Part 2: on the plane

Funny how sometimes we found answers from random things. Here I am
sitting on the plane, writing this after watching two random movies
that happened to send a similar lesson of life for women, feels like
God has answered my questions. The movie titles are "my one and only",
and"an education"..for anyone who interested to watch 'em.

Well seems like there's nothing more secure than believing in ourselves
and work hard rather than finding a shortcuts to success after all.
But, yes, definitely easier to say than to do...

Part 3: back in melbourne

Finally home..... sorting out what needs to be sorted.. life goes on.. and still wandering which lifestyle to choose....... no conclusion has been made yet....

Are we born to be a racist?

Another Indian man was attacked in Melbourne, second Indian man this month. http://theage.com.au/national-m00j.html

Ever wonder what happens with the world these days??? are we all born to be racist? so many questions popping in my head, after reading this news... all I felt was guilt and empathy . Judging by what happened, no sign of robbery or what so ever. I felt bit angry and sad when the police said that "there was no evidence it was racially motivated". But seriously, we didn't witness the murder, no one knows who started the fight, and/or it could be caused by racism.

are we really born to be a racist? on my opinion we all are racist and judgemental towards people, its just the matter of how you take it into actions, or its just a state of mind. I know some people would disagree with me, but what would you feel if you see other people that are different to you? what would be in your mind if you see an alien walking on earth, or an android for the first time. would it feel a bit strange? but what if you were born in alien communities or androids are something that you see everyday, everywhere, since you were born. wouldn't that be something normal to you???

This story leads on to my latest Christmas vacation, a road trip from Melbourne to Adelaide, through the famous Victorian's scenery, Great Ocean Road. I've been there several times, years ago. Beautiful scenery I would say, I know that the scenery would not change too much in a few years, so I thought this rocks would not excite me no more, it's just gonna be a 'stretching leg' stop. But, when I got there, something interest me so much, a sensation that I felt only in this particular trip.

So we had a few toilet break right, and after a long trip we ended up in Lorne, we had a scroll through the pier and I slowly started to notice something......and I remembered seeing them a few times along the way, something that I haven't been noticing, but yet. So I took a few snaps, just for my self, as I always do.

After taking this photo, I start noticing something interesting along the way, so I set myself a little project. As a normal human being, we had another t-break, and I found this.

I got more curious and excited. Finally ....we end up in the twelve Apostles, we got off the car.. and guess what ......

I just could not help myself from my excitement... I felt like I have found a hidden treasure.... I could not believe how many Indian tourist were there to see the twelve apostles. I was so amazed I just realised I did not take any photo of the twelve apostles, but I had so many photos of the tourist. I wasn't trying to be racist or anything... but it was just amazing, the first time I got to Melbourne, like 9 years ago, I hardly see any Indians around. Suddenly I felt like they're everywhere. I never see this much Indian tourist anywhere but that day.

However, who am I to judge, I am a minority in Australia, myself. Sometimes I felt like people are being racist to me, but if the local treat us differently is it really a form of racism? or just a culture shock?

I think its okay and normal to be a bit judgemental about people, maybe there are some habits that we don't like but people with different race would do, but its all very subjective. Attacking innocent people because of their background is just unfair. Acting violently toward a race is unfair. Probably we should think throughly before thinking of judging people and start trying to understand their backgrounds and cultures. why people behave the way the behave today? why people do things that we would categories 'em as explicit?

However, trying to hurt people in any form, cause of our own selfish judgement, is just wrong.

so, if we all born to be racist, can we put ourselves in other people's shoes before taking any wrong decisions?

I did it...

I finally got my guts to sign up and write something on a blog.

I always wanted to write and share my thoughts about life from my point of view,

sharing what I see around me, things that are ignored and/or invisible to people.

But my limited writing skill always putting me off. Well here I am, spending hours just to write this first post...... well this looks like a great beginning to share my thoughts with the world...

I dont know how to start this.... help...