I just realised, why am I writing every end of year....??? I never believe in having a new year's resolution.... but maybe its true.... without we realise, we do introspect ourselves every end of year???
Interest story..... few weeks ago... a friend of a friend, a stranger I would say, asked me a question that I have been asking for years..... we are only a year apart..
but a lot of things can happen and change your way of thinking, within that 1 year...
He asked, " but what if I dont know what i want to do?"..... he find it so hard to be happy of what he has...... and kept comparing himself to his younger brother, who he think is much more successful than him....
I can be honest and said "I am actually still at a stage of finding out.. what to do with mylife...." but instead... at that time.. I was sooo sure what my purpose was and I gave him a few advice that I have been trying to advice myself...
sometimes life is not all about money.... happiness cannot be measured by how much money we are making or have... but its about feeling contained with what we have, giving thanks that we are blessed with so many good things, health, laughter, family..... non material things that are priceless....
but yes yes... i know... money makes us happy.... coz we were brained washed to think that way since we are kid... until now.... it's the society that force us to think that way.. not just only that... but rich people put price on everything that suppose to be free, including beaches, the sea, the forest!! just so they can feed their selfishness and become richer.... but people who cannot afford it... suffer and struggle to enjoy nature that supposed to be free...
i dont know whether its answering his question.. but I was so excited, to have someone asking and discussing about life....
sometimes its not the situation that made us like this.. but its our self.. our fear of trying something new, the fear of taking the chance, the fear of getting out from comfort zone...... all choices has its own freedom, our free willl......... I sometimes regret... saying NO to things that I know would make me happy, but instead I always choose work on boring stuff.. I always make excuses to people.. I pushed people away from me...... but instead i was actually making an excuse to myself.. coz i dont want to come out from my comfort zone....
sometimes i wander, why my life is not as exciting as anyone else.. maybe... but now i know.. its "the fear of making the wrong choices", has always been on my way....
but who decide something is right or wrong.... Maybe I should stop pushing people away and start taking the risk of doing something different......
(written: almost 5months ago)
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