Almost year later after a year.....

Yeah.. I almost forgot about this blog.....  I somehow stop thinking and got too overwhelmed in my routines.
All I think about was work work work.. well not necessary working, but I just kept thinking about it....

I realised I never have a time for my self, or just to sit down for an hour to reading a book or just simply watch TV or streaming Cartoons online ( I can blame this on the internet connection, tho)
I never allow enough time to have a long lunch/dinner, and digest my food slowly, taste its smell and  texture on my tongue ... I almost forgot the excitement of drinking a cold beer straight from its cold bottle, on a long tiring, hot and humid day, combine with lack of fluids on the throat.... a never ending thirst and longing for something to wash its surface....  or taking a deeeeeppp breathhh of enjoyment while having a big cold gulp... sigh


October, few months before Christmas... again.... felt like I just moved here yesterday...


It has been a very interesting year..  everything start to fall into places, I can see a light of hope......
I can say, I have given almost everything I want for this year....  maybe no one can see it... its nothing big or materialistic, but I can say.. the universe has treat me nicely, for my first year staying back at home.... maybe this is what they call 'a beginner's luck" according to Paulo.

Counting back, I have been living outside this town for more than 'half of my life'.... I don't share the same lifestyle, I don't talk their "language"... But I realised, I have to adapt to the society and start thinking like they do.. or at least trying to understand why people act and think like they do now,
So I keep observing their lives, the philosophy of society.. learn how they act and react into certain things, what they do to survive living in this town.
I slowly understood, and start including their way of thinking into mine.. (wow... such a complex wording to explain) ....

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Before I left Melbourne, a best friend of mine and I made a pledge, to never forgot who we were, the way we think, see and appreciate life..... now I can assure myself that those pledge would not be broken easily....

All random sequences and scattered dots,  finally joined up this years.....allowing me to see the big picture of a vague vision...


30.12.12.


2012 is almost over and yet the world is standing still. It has proven that Mayan Apocalypse, might be wrongly interpreted by our top scientist.  There might be global warming, crazy natural disaster happened around the world, but not necessarily destroying the whole land of human beings.

Maybe.. this Mayan Apocalypse, could be interpreted as a 'spiritual transformation'... a change in the meaning system that person holds as a basis for self-definition, the interpretation of life, and overarching purposes and ultimate concerns, just like Raymond Paloutzian explained on his research on the psychology of religion.

Maybe it is a time to start of a 'New Age'... maybe this generation of people are just too tired of listening to never ending wars, politics, fanaticism, egoism...

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For me, 2012 was a year full of new experiences and observations; meeting like-minded people-who made you feel normal and never gave you an alienated look; its an ending of something that's about to start..... ; it's a confirmation to all possible answers to my questions..... this is certainly a 'new cycle' for me and some people that I am very close to .....

I could not thank more to everyone and everything that has happened to me these past years.....
For that .. has woken me up from my biggest nightmare and fear .. and yet.. is a time to wiggle my toes,  control my breath and wake up from my sleep paralysis, from my lucid dream..... and ready to face reality.....